Back in October I began to open up to you all with my first personal blog post. I promised you all that I would write one every month and has managed to let you down all because of lack of FOCUS. The momentum is there but I work to achieve so many things that focus has become a challenge for me. Focus as it relates to work, yes my 9-5, creativity, blogging, designing, relationships and overall energy. I’ve accomplished quite a few things during November but I’ve planned for a lot more to be done by December 1st, including this post.
I don’t mind my current job. Do I love it? Ehhh, not exactly. I like it but when you’re working for a Corporation doing the very same thing that you dream of doing for your own company, it is kind of hard to love it. When I’m at work, I’m kind of routine with my daily tasks so the majority of my day is on autopilot. Because of that, I tend to space out and think about things outside of work periodically. Mostly career wise, like whats next for me in terms of being an influencer and successful entrepreneur. You may ask why am I still doing it? Honestly there is no good reason. I plan on leaving it all behind to take the leap of faith. Moving to LA and work on what I’m passionate about. Designing, entrepreneurship and influencing others. Just being creative! Early 2019 is the plan and because that time period always stick out to me, I feel like its the time that I take the chance. I’m afraid but you know what they say “if your dreams don’t scare you then you’re not dreaming big enough” and I truly believe it. I have a lot of work to do this year to prepare me for my next steps and I’m soooo ready.
Creativity, Blogging and Designing
Living in NYC, inspiration is everywhere because it is a melting pot of diversity. You will literally find it everywhere. On the streets, on the subway, in the elevator, even within the people that you interact with. If you are creative, you tend to turn everything into a source for inspiration, at least I do. I personally get inspired by everything which almost always sparks an idea. When I get inspired to do something, I have to write it down or screen shot it immediately so I don't forget. Because I do this multiple times a day, I get so backed up in actually carrying out the ideas. I know that I can do them all but as of late, I've been lacking focus, it has been difficult. I think its because I have not been consistent in using my planner. I need to get back to it! Since a new year is starting, I think 2018 will be a perfect pick up place. Another thing that has been getting in the way of me creating is that I try to do it all alone. I like working with others, don't get me wrong but I like things the way I like them and you know what they say "if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself". The only person who gets my aesthetics is my younger sister. When she shoots for me, its like I don't have to give her any direction, she just knows what I want. She can't help me as much as I would like her to because she is away at school. So now I have to shoot alone which takes a lot more work. Using a tripod takes way more time to set up when you want angles, but like Tim Gunn says "Make it work" and I do just that.
Many of my relationships are stagnant. Some are stronger than others but for the most part the majority of them aren't as strong as they once were. It is because my focus is somewhere else. I can admit that I have been selfish with my time. For a long time I've been the initiator in my friendships with others, inviting them out to places, randomly calling and texting them, and just being there whenever they needed me to be there, no matter what. Now that I don't offer up invitations or random call/text as often with some people, I've noticed that I don't hear from them anymore, unless they need me of course. Not putting the blame on the other party at all, because I do know that this is a two way street, I just now know where the relationship lies. If the only time that I hear from them is when I reach out, this relationship is not worth my time. I need people in my corner who genuinely care about me, my well being, want to see me succeed and supports me wholeheartedly. Not someone who is more concerned with where I'm going and how they can tag along so that it is beneficial to them. It's not personal, like my Uncle Jay said (yes Jay-Z), "A alike, B alike, we don't vibe no more because we don't C alike". If the vibe isn't there, I'm not going to force it. As we get older, we grow out of each other, and that is ok.
Directing my energy is my main focus these days. Making sure that I put the most energy into the things that I want for myself. Things like following my passions, being consistent with creating products and content, focusing on the important people in my life and most of all attract positive energy. I want to have a colorful aura like I got neon guts like my faves Pharrell and Lil Uzi Vert. I believe that I am on my way there. With this positive outlook and different practices, I see and feel a difference and I must admit that it looks good on me.
All in all, I am learning how to regain my focus. I believe that I am on the right path. I do apologize for taking so long with this. I am getting back on track and plan on giving you another personal post this month. Like always, I hope that you enjoyed reading! Let me know what you think.